Ashlyn (age 11)

After the Scream 6 intro…
Ashlyn: “Online dating, am I right?”

Ashlyn (age 11)

After a day shopping…
Ashlyn: “Ahhh, feels good to be broke!”

Ashlyn (age 11)

Walking into the dentist…
Ashlyn: “Smells like teeth in here!”

Lexi (age 12)

Shan: “well you know what they say about assume…”
Lexi: “what? It killed the cat?”

Ashlyn (age 9)

“The side of that truck says they remove your junk…gross.”

Ashlyn (age 9)

“That man smells like flowers, sand, and lipstick”

Ashlyn (age 7)

“Daddy my toenails are like Rapunzel’s hair!”

Ashlyn (age 6)

“Daddy, your phone just farted.”

Lexi (age 8)

“I am as happy as a cupcake in a rainbow!”

Ashlyn (age 6)

Me (just woken up): “What time is it?”
Ash: “I dunno, I’m not the boss of what time it is?”

Ashlyn (age 4)

Ash: “It’s not a bird poop problem.”

Ashlyn (age 4)

Ash: “I need a band-aid on my tongue!”

Ashlyn (age 3)

Ash: “I kissed a girl and I liked it!”

Lexi (age 5)

Lexi: “I ate so many pancakes today it feels like Thanksgiving!”

Ashlyn (age 3) – Looking out window

Ashlyn: “Daddy, Uncle Joel has a pretty Jeep!”

Lexi (age 5) – At the Market

Me: “Lexi you’re barely eating any of your hotdog?”
Lexi: “It’s gross!”
Me: “What’s wrong with it?”
Lexi: “I don’t know, it must be Blue Menu!”

Ashlyn (age 3) – Random

Ashlyn: “Daddy? What’s a weed whacker?”

Lexi (age 5) – camping

Lexi: “Daddy the next time we go shopping can I get a T-Shirt that says I LOVE SMOKIES?”

Lexi (age 5)

Shan: “We need to brush your hair before birds build a nest in there!”
Lexi: “Birds are really going to build a nest in my hair?”
Shan: “No it’s just a funny way to say we need to brush your hair.”
Lexi: “Like a figure of speech?”

Lexi (age 5)

Lexi: “Daddy, how come you drive a van and not a Jeep?”
Me: “Exactly!”

Ashlyn (age 3)

Ashlyn: “If the Hulk ever came to my house I would give him a hug.”

Lexi (age 5)

Shan: “Ashlyn, what good manners you have!”
Lexi: “I have good manners too mommy, and good breath!”

Lexi (age 5) – stalling at bedtime:

Lexi: “But daddy I can’t go to bed yet (looking around), I don’t even know how cups are made!”

Lexi (age 4) – after work while playing “GO FISH”:

Lexi: “Don’t you have to poop yet?”

Lexi (age 4)

Me: “Lex, leave Mommy’s make-up brush in the bathroom.”
Lexi: “But daddy I am playing with it.”
Me: “You don’t need make-up your beautiful without it.”
Lexi: “and Mommy isn’t?”

Lexi (age 4)

Lexi: “Remember that time I got bit by a shark?”
Me: “Ummmm not really?”
Lexi: “Hmm must’ve been a dream.”

Lexi (age 4) – during a dance party Ashlyn spun herself around until she was really dizzy and then ran head first into the wall.

Lexi: “I think she was trying to pass through it.”

Lexi (age 4) – on the way to daycare in the van:

Lexi: “Daddy look, a squirrel shadow…”
Me: “WHERE?”
Lexi: “Ya missed it.”

Lexi (age 4) – she gets me with this all the time:

Me: “Who wants dessert?”
Both kids: “WE DO!”
Lexi: “you know who doesn’t want dessert?”
Me: “who?”
Lexi: “Aliens!”

Lexi (age 4) – driving home from daycare:

Me: “Hey look, papa is behind us. I wonder where he is going?”
Lexi: Maybe he is going to clean our house.”

Lexi (age 4) – at dinner:

Me: “Good manners Ashlyn.”
Lexi: “You know who doesn’t have good manners daddy?”
Me: “who?”
Lexi: “Aliens!”
Me: “How come?”
Lexi: “Because they don’t swim.”

Lexi (age 3) – at bedtime:

Me: “Goodnight sweet girl, when you wake up in the morning you will be 4!”
Lexi: I’m going to miss my 3’s!”

Lexi (age 3) – sitting on the toilet:

Lexi: “Counting toes makes you have to pee.”

Lexi (age 3) – unprovoked:

Lexi: “Why do we need toes?”

Lexi (age 3) – getting out of the tub:

Lexi: “I’m frozen salted.”

Lexi (age 3)

Lexi: “I ate so many strawberries today my eyes hurt.”