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Summer Preview

This was a tough year at school and summer could not come fast enough.

Right out of the gates the Tim, Les, and kids are over for a couple days of just hanging out. Water fights, take out, and sleeping on the trampoline; what’s better than that? We even took in the new water park in Transcona on Sunday and it was awesome. I highly recommend it but be sure to bring your thick skin. I think 2 mins there and Ashlyn was being yelled at from across the pool for dipping her toe into the deep end. They have some really good slides for the kids and lots of seats with umbrellas for drying off. I think it was under $15 for the family too.

Took in the Massey Park Fireworks again this year. It never disappoints. It’s also nice to have Al, Larissa, and Haddon in the neighborhood now. They came over and then we just walked over. I love the community of this event. Everyone just hanging out listening to tunes and kids playing with the parents. Fireworks are always stellar and I know they collect all kinds of food and donations for Harvest. Great event.

Monday Joel had his annual Canada Day Swimfest. Always a good time over there and I think Ashlyn and Lexi were in the pool the entire time. Thanks to Joel and Jen for another great day.

Today would be our official first day of holidays. It was spent doing laundry and hanging out with kids who are already bored. Kids who would argue that Tim Hortons has a better grilled cheese than the one I make. It may have been their way of getting me to take them to Tim’s for lunch. Either way, they were sadly mistaken. We have the dentist this week and Lexi’s soccer windup on Saturday. After that it’s off to Blue Lake for a week to start off the summer of travel. We plan on taking in Calgary, Drumheller, Banff, and Edmonton. For camping we only have Blue Lake and Hecla booked so far. Should be another great summer to remember.

Nightmares

Those of you who know Ashlyn have likely heard me talk about her rough nights. The irrational fears that seem to come to her at night. For her privacy that is about as far as I will go into details except to say that it’s not a new thing. Shan and I have been doing our best at 2 or 3am to be patient and understanding. We’ve also done some co-sleeping but it seems to be habit building and have found the most success with mini interventions and compromise to keep Ashlyn in her own bed and feeling safe. Sometimes she just needs someone there to tell her it’s OK and there is nothing to be scared of. “Go back to sleep…” we tell her with confidence. “There’s nothing to be scared of…” I always say.

Have good dreams my girl…

I move the hair away from her eyes as they close and kiss her on the forehead and then leave her alone in her bed to sort out the rest. Some nights she goes back to sleep right away and others I don’t even know. We hope this is allowing her the tools she needs to eventually become a good little independent sleeper. On the really bad nights it takes everything not to take her into our room and comfort her, but we don’t.

Guard Dog

It’s hard for an adult to understand what fear even looks like for a child. I refer to Ashlyn’s fears as irrational because I don’t understand how she can be afraid of bugs that aren’t there, or a cartoon she watched on TV. I don’t know how real it all seems for her and how hard some nights must be for her to get back to sleep or remain “frozen” under the sheets.

Well last weekend, I got a little taste…

At 530am on Father’s day Shannon pulled me out of the most lucid dream I have ever had. She said I was yelling something she couldn’t make out and punching the headboard full force. She said I got about 3-4 good shots in before she woke me up. I had tears in my eyes and I remember exactly what the dream was about in great detail. Keep in mind the night before Ashlyn was in our room because of a bad dream. I only mention this because the night of my dream was just a typical evening in the Peever house, which brings me back to my point about rationale.

THE DREAM

The dream took place in the layout of my childhood house. I think it might be the root of my early fears and it takes place there as I revisit the idea of fear as I experienced it as a child (YES I have thought about this way too much). I vividly remember two scenes: One in the kitchen and one in the upstairs bedroom. The dream became lucid in the kitchen of the old house. We are standing beside the fridge in the dark and a burnt yellow luminescence lights the room from outside the window. I’m with Shannon but between us is Jaime Rattray (a girl I used to work with years ago). More significant is that Ashlyn isn’t there. We are scared to go outside but not sure why. There is a constant hum and movement is slow motion. Jaime hugs on me for protection and Shan is close and visibly confused like we’re not sure if we should move. The feeling is familiar, like we have been here before but don’t have answers. I think Jaime might represent Lexi for some strange reason.

Jump to next part we are upstairs in my old bedroom where from the bed I am woken up by Shannon who is worried about Ashlyn. It’s dark and she’s whispering. I am looking into the Hall just as I have many times when these rooms were occupied by my sister and I. From my bed I couldn’t see into her room but I could see her doorway where the hall meets the corner of my sight line. In the dream I know the door to be Ashlyn’s. I already feel Frozen and in slow motion. The sound waves are present and dull and we are confused just like in the kitchen. In the yellow glow of hallway I can see a clothed arm with a bare hand hovering out in front of Ashlyns door. Not moving just hovering with a long skinny finger extended, like it heard us and now it hesitates. We are not supposed to see it. It almost as if we are in shock. Shan starts to panic whisper to me confirming she sees it too “OMG it’s fucking here, it’s fucking here” and she grabs me. The hand slowly recoils at our voices but not in panic but more in realization it’s been seen. I sit up in bed to get a better look and in the yellow haze of light I can see it more clearly than ever. It’s hand goes back to it’s side and it just looks at us not moving. It’s in a suit so I can’t see it’s face. Some kind of space protection suit that is camouflaged but it’s bare hands stick out long and slender suggesting something alien. The sound waves become more intense and I cant move toward it but I’m trying. It’s hand reaches once again for her doorknob and I’m yelling “don’t you fucking touch her”

I wake up punching my head board. Tears in my eyes and a feeling of helplessness is all that remains.

I know that this all sounds very contrived, especially after I have been stewing on it for over a week. I just can’t help but think it was some kind of message. Something in my subconscious wants to protect that little girl from her own brain and feels helpless in the process. I feel like it’s a message about what Ashlyn has been dealing with at night and who knows when. The dream was so vivid that if I was her age waking up alone in her room I would be the frozen she describes when she wakes up scared. Makes me feel like I at least need to go in there and let her know she is not alone. After all, it is Father’s day at 530am!

Ashlyn is Seven

Big thanks to Pat and Carla for hosting Ashlyn’s birthday at the lake (as per her request), we had a blast!

Hard to believe this one is seven. Another great year and another birthday video. Not sure if this will work or not (you may need a Google acct) but feel free to sit through another one of these birthday videos…

   Ashlyn is Seven Video

Netflix Double Billing

Just the other night Shannon noticed that we were being double billed by Netflix. I logged on to the site and noticed that our billing history showed charges coming off our credit card on the 27th of every month. On our CC statement we were also being billed on the 3rd of every month so I chatted with support to see what was up.

The first thing they asked me was if I have a YOPmail account. A quick internet search uncovered that YOPmail is a temporary and disposable email account service. I assured Netflix support that I didn’t have a YOPmail account and they informed me that I had 2 active accounts and that they would close the YOPmail one.

I asked how this happened and they quickly assured me that the other account was now closed and that they have flagged my CC somehow so that no new accounts can be opened with it. Here is basically how the rest went down…

ME – “Yes but how did this happen?”

SA – “Rest assured Mr. Peever the other account is closed and you will be refunded the 2 months that were charged.” the agent was quick to say.

ME – “Well actually it’s 3 months but I don’t see any other charges to my CC. It seems strange to me that someone stealing my CC information would just use it to pay $14 for Netflix each month. How did this happen?”

SA – “Your refund with be $13.99 times 2.”

ME- “Actually it should be 3 months as I will already billed on the 3rd of this month from the fraudulent account that you just closed.”

SA – “I have put in for your refund and it will take about 30 days to process. Just about enough time for you to forget all of this…”

My thoughts are that Netflix does this on purpose. I think they use YOPmail to create additional accounts for people and charge their CC on a different billing cycle in hopes that they don’t notice. I think that those who do notice quickly are instantly refunded a month less than they should be refunded and Netflix makes a tonne of cash on that extra month. I think people who don’t notice for a long period of time need to pursue the issue with the CC people to get their money back and Netflix keeps the extra cash they made double billing the customer until they noticed.

I believe all of this because I don’t believe that someone steals CC information only to steal Netflix once a month for $14.

Whatever you believe, check your CC statements if you’re watching Netflix.

Superman’s Song

The #metoo movement is in full force and it’s really got me thinking. So much in fact that I feel the need to voice my opinion. It’s just the view of a “life broke”, “privileged, white male” so do with it what you will.

In 1991 a band who called themselves the Crash Test Dummies (from Winnipeg, Manitoba) released the single “Superman’s Song” and I think it helps define all men in the midst of #Metoo.

“Superman’s Song”

Tarzan wasn’t a ladies’ man
He’d just come along and scoop ’em up under his arm like that
Quick as a cat in the jungle…

Harvey Weinstein is Tarzan and Hollywood is his jungle.

Women are initially attracted to his power and the security he can provide in an otherwise very unstable environment. They come to Hollywood and seek him out for what he can provide. So much in fact that they may be willing to endure certain conditions otherwise unfavorable under normal circumstances to benefit and thrive under his rule. He wears nothing but a loin cloth to meetings but he’s also the key for survival. Weinstein knows he is king and feels like he can do what he wants no matter how unconventional or abusive. Women are lured back to hotel rooms like Jane on a vine for what might seem like their own good.

In the end these women are able to regain their own sense of security and self worth and see him for the animal he really is.

But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin’ around in no junglescape
dumb as an ape doing nothing…

Clark Kent is every man in this scenario. The people you work with, the mailman, the guy at Starbucks making your coffee to your boss at the bank. Some have power and wealth, some have a good looks and a sense of humor, and some have a kind heart and sensibility. The fact is they are all created equal, with the same biological instinct to copulate.

“I was just borrowing a little friction from a stranger.” – Dave Chappelle.

Clark was just a guy at the Daily Planet working his 9-5 who carried the burden of a huge secret. Not that he was Superman, but that he had the hots for a co-worker and didn’t know what to do with that. Should he ask her out? Tell her she looks nice in that dress? Instead he just pushed down all his feelings like a gentleman in hopes that one day she might feel the same way.

This isn’t Hollywood. This isn’t the kind of jungle where you can just swing in and sweep someone off their feet. There’s rules to follow and as men we have to do our best to separate ourselves from the apes. The only problem is that some of us are better at it than others.

Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see another man like him…

Superman is the ultimate example of a man that all women want, and all men aspire be. A man who treats women with kindness and respect and requires no affirmation for doing so.

Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he could have smashed through any bank in the United States
He had the strength, but he would not…

I love this lyric. It’s symbolic of a man with all power in the world, who could use it to have sex with anyone, even Brock Lesnar if he wanted, but he would not. A super male who makes all the right choices to protect the women in his life.

Folks said his family were all dead
Their planet crumbled but Superman, he forced himself to carry on
forget Krypton, and keep going

We need to stop making excuses for our actions and have the strength to confront them.

Tarzan was king of the jungle and Lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words: “I Tarzan, You Jane.”

There will always be corrupt men, just as there will always be corrupt women. I think we need to be careful not to condemn the innocent and have a responsibility to expose the guilty.

Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes
I’ll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back on man
join Tarzan in the forest…

This lyric speaks to every man’s struggle to suppress the urges that make him a man. It’s the old saying that “good guys finish last”. It’s the draw to the dark side. I can only speak for myself when I say that being a good man is work. Men love women and that doesn’t turn off. There will always be sexual ambiguity that exists between a man and a woman in any place in time. In fact there is a great scene in the movie “Beautiful Girls” that sums this up brilliantly;

“Look. The supermodel’s a beautiful girl, Will. She can make you dizzy, like you’ve been drinking Jack all morning. She can make you feel high for the greatest commodity known to man – promise, the promise of a better day, the promise of a greater hope, the promise of a new tomorrow. This particular ore can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl – in her smile, in her soul, in the way she makes every rotten thing about life seem OK…A beautiful girl’s all-powerful and that is as good as love.”

Ironically there are only two things that can bring Superman to his knees. One is Kryptonite (a made up compound nobody can really comprehend because it only comes from a made up alien colony fictionally referred to as Krypton), and Lois Lane (a smart beautiful woman).

But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home…

There is a sexual oppression that “good” men face on a daily basis. It’s been said that on average most males think about sex every 7 seconds. To suggest that women are powerless and that we live in a man’s world might only be one perspective oppression. One that continues to see progress over the years as well. Men have very little clout when it comes to sexual pursuit. Of course I am generalizing here but if a woman wants to have sex, in most cases, she can just goes out and get some! In a black and white world based on sex and relationships women hold all the power. It’s the kind of oppression that will never change, a gap that will never narrow.

The pursuit of sex drives men to seek out these positions of power that men in Hollywood are exploiting as sexual efficacy. To play devils advocate it’s the same proverbial thumb that presses on my back to make sure I do my part as a married man to keep my wife happy and content, take out the garbage, and make dinner a few times a week. Happy wife, happy sex life.

When the #metoo movement first started flooding my Facebook page I copied the post and changed the “women” to “people”. Some of my friends didn’t like this much. I don’t think this is a man vs woman thing at all. You would be naive to think that I have never gone out to eat with a woman and not be expected to pay for dinner just because I am a man. You would be naive to think that I am the only man to ever have a woman forcefully push my head “down there”. In fact when I was a 19 year old privileged white male I passed out at a party and woke up naked in a girls bed who I was told had sex with me. That’s RAPE right? Me writing #metoo on my Facebook page isn’t taking anything away from women, it’s embracing and applying it to all people – hell ya #ustoo.

So what’s in it for old Superman? Why not join old Tarzan in the Jungle? Because we are better than that. So many of us are better than that. Let’s all be better.

Superman, in all his symbolic glory, is a moral compass for all men to follow into the jungle at a time when women are standing among treetops, cupping their mouths and screaming for help – MEEEEEEeeeeeTOOOOOOooooo! And like animals hiding behind trees careful not to expose ourselves men and women will step out and unite to forge a path through this junglescape that leads straight to a better and utopian Metropolis.

Man, what a great tune!

* “Superman’s Song” was the first single of the Canadian folk-rock group Crash Test Dummies and came from their 1991 debut album The Ghosts That Haunt Me.

Happy New Year

It’s only fitting that I start the year off going to bed at 1am and waking up at 5am thinking about the load of laundry that I forgot about. Now I need to make one of those resolutions that people make to motivate myself to be better at finishing what I started. Or in this case, remembering what I’ve started, because that seems to be more of the problem.

In just a couple of hours now we will all be heading over to Agape Table with this years load of toothbrushes and toothpaste. Once again the support we saw was overwhelming and each year I am thankful that through the generosity of others Lexi and Ashlyn get to have this enlightening experience every year. They both take away something different I am sure but it’s something we get to do on our break for other people, which is awesome.

It’s been a shut in week with the cold weather and Lexi on the verge of Pneumonia. Poor kid is just coming out of being sick with a fever since Christmas Eve thanks to some TLC and the antibiotics. Seems someone is always sick this time of year and then it hits us all. That didn’t stop us from having an awesome Christmas though. We just had to change a few things up and adjust a little bit. We spent some quality time with family and that is what matters most.

27 Handyside Ave.

We love to spend NYE with the kids and last night Joel and family came over for dinner and we had a nice casual dinner and just hung out. It seems like we haven’t seen them in a long time when Kevin shows up talking like crazy and racing Ashlyn up and down the hall. Joel and I took a selfie at one point and looking at it really brought me back. We have been friends for 40 years! One day you’re playing C.H.I.P.S on the street on your Big Wheels and 40 years later your watching 2018 come in on YouTube after putting your kids to bed.

 

So thankful for friends and family as always. Wishing you happiness and a benevolent New Year.

Heaven Is A Better Place Today

I woke up this morning and after my shower instead of heading downstairs to find some underwear I went straight to my closet and put on my Hip shirt. I know that doesn’t sound like anything odd but I ALWAYS do shirt last, after a teeth brush and layer of deodorant so that I don’t get anything on the shirt. As I was looking through my shirts I also brushed past the shirt I had made for the last concert that reads “Here’s a glue guy, performance God…” and it was just enough to put it in my head. I walked back downstairs to brush singing “heaven is a better place today”.

I was in the movement room at work, alone, when my phone started blowing up. “Gord died…” was the first thing I read from Al and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I just had trouble pulling it together. Then as other people started texting me it was just too much emotion. It was definitely a tough day working with kids. One woman I work with also loves the Hip and when I first met her we were both wearing Hip gear. I was the one who told her when she got in this morning and her eye’s just welled up and she went straight to the phone to call her husband. The impact of it all was just so HARD, HUGE, and HAUNTING.

I tried hard to compose myself throughout the day but it was hard. One text I received said:

“sad day – I was thinking of you this morning. Great memories – thank you for bringing the Hip into my life!”

Back to square one. I just kept telling myself that Tom Petty died just a few days ago and I don’t remember any grown men walking around the office all welled up. Pull it together man, I kept telling myself. Then I read the obituary on Maclean’s – that was a mistake.

What I realized was that it wasn’t just about the passing of an amazing man. A man I feel some kind of personal connection to that I have never met. I realized it’s about all of you. All of the people who share this music with me and the memories that pop into my head when I hear it. The concerts, the road trips, the parties, the clubs, the camping, the hockey, the socials, the weddings, the friendships…all of it.

It’s the knowledge that today is the day the music died. Literally. What I can only explain as the soundtrack to my life now has a beginning and an end. I know that the music lives on but it makes me sad to think about the flame that brought so much happiness to my life has gone dark. Knowing that I will never again sit in an arena and see Gord live weakens my will a little. I can clearly remember them all and never wanting that feeling to end. Even just sitting in my car alone and cranking it up – it could never get loud enough, no number on a dial could ever explain it.

So that’s what I did on my way to pick up the kids after school. Got lost in it.

When Shan got home we asked GOOGLE to play some HIP and opened up a bottle of wine I never thought there would be an occasion for. We drank for Gord – and then Al came over and we all drank for Gord, just as we have so many times before.

RIP Gord Downie – Thank you for everything.

Thunder Bay 2017

With summer winding down and Shan already getting back into school mode I thought I would take a little trip to Thunder Bay with the girls. Not only would I get some Ratte time (that was missing this summer on the camping front) but I would also get some quality time with the girls that I am going to miss so much once school starts back up.

The Ratte’s were in Winnipeg for a couple days before so we just basically followed them back to Tbay. Paul drove with me and the girls so it was nice to have 8 hours to just hang out and catch up. The girls are incredible in the car now. Usually Ashlyn can be needy but we had a little talk about how it would be harder for me to sort her out when I am trying to drive safely and she was awesome the whole way there and back. In about Dryden I gave them these LOL Dolls that I had bought a couple days before we left as a surprise. They are a chore to open up so it took them some time to sort them out and once they were all open they played in the car with them all the rest of the way.

We had an awesome visit with the Rattes. The highlight for the girls was just playing outside with the kids every chance they got. Paul has a really nicely paved driveway where they just spent hours on scooters, shooting hoops, and practicing on the wheelchair Paul had in the garage. We also took in a boat ride, a movie, the Persian Man, the park and a place called “Boulder Bear” where the kids climbed for almost 3 hours.

Paul and I got out to play hockey a couple times while I was there. It’s another world in Thunder Bay. It’s a Thursday night skate at 9pm and most of the guys are older than me. Hard guys, that do the heavy lifting at the mill all week and on Thursday nights after hockey they go to this bar called the “Wayland” to drink beers and eat pizza. We got home around 1am and although I was dreading my 8 hour drive on Friday morning I am sure it beats getting up to go to the mill. I am pudding compared to these guys and it was an honor to get to play with them even for just one night.

On the way home we made lot’s of stops but most memorable was Kakabeka Falls and our stop for lunch in Blue Lake.

   Thunder Bay 2017 Album